Love Evanesce

Most guys have pornography. Pictures of sexy females on their computer, or in a magazine under their bed. A video collection on the computer. A DVD collection of adult movies. Normal right?

Sort of pitiful, in my opinion. Wishful thinking on their part? Iono. But that isn’t my point tonight.

What about the girlfriend? The wife?
I can understand if you’re single and lonely and need some aid in releasing your sexual frustrations cuz your imagination may not be up to par. But if you have a significant other, having all that dirty porn is just rude. Unless watching porn is something you do with your partner, you masturbating while looking at other women is very much like cheating. I mean, there’s a fine line. It’s like when you have sex with your girlfriend but you’re thinking about somebody else and you say the other girl’s name. I mean, it’s not really cheating, but boy is it hurtful and probably horrible for your girlfriend’s self esteem.

You should at least talk to her about it. Say she’s on your computer one day, looking for that picture you two took last month for your anniversary, and instead she finds folders filled with naked women. *shock* *disgust*
How do you think a guy would feel if his girlfriend masturbated thinking of other guys? I mean, what’s to say that doesn’t mean she’d rather be having sex with other guys? What if the guy found pictures on his girlfriend’s laptop of men who are more gorgeous, have better bodies, and are far better endowed? Yeah, that’s what I thought. The guy would feel like crap, too.
It’s almost like cheating. Except MORE pathetic, because you’re not actually getting any.

Maybe the guy has a fantastically understanding girlfriend or wife and she says “Oh, I don’t mind, go ahead and masturbate to pictures of other women.” Well lucky guy. She should be allowed to keep her pictures of strangers’ erections, too. Is that okay? =D

However, if he really honestly cares about somebody and that somebody does not like the idea of him sitting in a room touching himself while looking at naked women who aren’t her when he could be touching her, he should just get rid of it. I mean, same thing the other way around, guys, girls, gays. This applies to everybody. {It’s just is easier for me to attack heterosexual males because I am a bisexual female. =) Sorry I’ll try to quit with gender assignments.}

But, but, but… First, a short Q&A session. Your excuses, my two cents.
{Don’t worry, I’m not gonna say “Well deal with it; just be sexually frustrated if you really love your partner.”}

What if my partner doesn’t have sex with me as often as I’d like to?
Well first of all, healthy sexual appetite is good for a relationship. It boosts confidence along with all those nice chemicals being released in your brain. It’s a great way to feel closer to somebody you love, and it’s one of the best ways to show somebody just how much they mean to you, by sharing such an intimate moment with them. So if your partner isn’t that into sex, your self esteem might be suffering a bit, which can’t be good for the relationship. You should have a serious talk with your partner about it. If that does not achieve any type of understanding, maybe a counselor is in order. Maybe my idea can spice things up.

What if my partner lives really far away from me?
If your partner lives far away … /facepalm Long distance relationships suck, let me tell you that. If the love is there, though, you can make it work. This blog is definitely for you. Plan to go visit your partner once in a while. Or hey, invest in a webcam. =) But read on!

What if my partner works an opposite shift and I do not get to see him/her all the time?
Being in a relationship with somebody who works on a different schedule than you do is tough. You’re sleeping when your partner is awake; your partner is sleeping when you’re awake. It’s something you both have to deal with and sex will usually mean somebody lacks sleep. Don’t you have weekends off? Holidays?

What if I’m religious and can’t have sex with my partner until we’re married?
I think that masturbating to images of random strangers defeats the purpose of the idea of celibacy. The point is to have pure thoughts. You aren’t having pure thoughts, anyway. If you know for a fact that the person you are with is the person you want to marry, there should be no problem having sex. The point of that “rule” is trying to keep sex as something special and sacred. You should only share it with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Even if you are not married, your deity knows that you plan to spend the rest of your life with that person and would probably rather you share an amazing experience with that person than sit in your room alone, copulating in your mind with strangers.

What if my partner is not open to the types of sexual experiences that I am interested in?
This can be a touchy subject sometimes. It also requires a good talk with both people trying to see where lines are drawn and where lines absolutely cannot be crossed. You can test yourself to see how persuasive you can be. Explain to your partner the things you like, and see their response to it. Chances are, they would be willing to try something new once in a while, just for you, if you’re nice about it. Or, you can pretend… which leads me to actually telling you my solution to this problem that may not even be a problem for most people.

It’s quite obvious, really! See? Here:

Well, no. The solution is not to delete all your porn and just masturbate to pictures of me in fishnet stockings and a corset.

Yes. You’ve got it. Take naughty pictures of your significant other. Don’t be shy. It’ll just be between the two of you. Go invest in a digital camera. Find a bit of time together, and have a little photo shoot. Or ask your partner to take pictures of their sexy self and send them to you once in a while. This way, when you absolutely have to sit around all alone, you are not pleasuring yourself with a stranger in mind, but rather pleasuring yourself with your partner in mind. It will make your partner feel sexy. =) Playing dress up, getting wet, candle wax, hand cuffs. Go all out. Or if you don’t want to go all out, just take off your partners clothes. Or take pictures of your partner in various states of undress. I’m sure you find your partner attractive, so why not have them become the only object of your sexual desires? You can even make videos. If your partner is not open-minded enough to explore some of the ideas you’d like to try, see if they’d be willing to pretend for a picture. Take a picture where you are not actually doing said thing, but looks as if you are about to. With that visual aid and your own imagination, I am sure it would be better than nothing?

As a bonus, you can feel good that your partner trusts you enough to let you have all those digital pictures. Don’t be a jerk and sell them on the internet. Please. Gah.

Come on. It’d be fun. Get rid of all your porn filled with people you will never touch, and fill the space with pictures of the one person you should be having sexual fantasies about. <3

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